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My Love of All Things Unhealthy

June 3, 2010

As I’ve looked at myself, in my skirted bathing suit,(groan) I’ve realized that I like things that are not good for me. In fact, I love the most unhealthy things.

I really like fish. Healthy, you’d say. Yeah, me too.

But, the boys and I went out to our favorite seafood shack yesterday, and after stuffing myself on shrimp salad and grouper, I figured the deep-frying and the mayo probably negated any health benefits that this extremely fresh seafood was trying to throw our way.

But, boy was it good.

And it was satisfying.

And I’d eat it again today, truth be told.

Another flaw in my thinking is the sun.

Vitamin D, you need the sun for that.  Right? 

My almost forty-year old skin is showing the effects of too many years of enjoying summers in the sun. A nice tan doesn’t look as good as it used to when my skin was unwrinkled and without as many freckles.  But, I still like myself better with a tan.

I slather on spf50, trying to avoid cancer and wrinkles and what not. But, deep down, I’m cursing it! I want to be pee-can(not pe-cahn, the pronunciation just doesn’t work) tan. 

Heck, I’m already wearing the skirt, shouldn’t I at least be allowed a sunny complexion. 

And, besides, everyone knows that tan fat looks better than pasty fat.  It’s a fact, you can check me on that one.

I admire people who are my age and look like they’ve never seen a day in the sun. But, at the same time, I’m a little suspicious.  What were they doing inside for all that time?  Building bombs?  Hydroponic marijuana production?(Surely, they’d have to keep that under a roof)  Doing hard time?

Flawless skin at age 40 makes me suspicious.

But, like I said, I’m slathering on the 50. Ugh!  Maybe people will be suspicious of me by the time I’m in the nursing home. 

I rejoice at the very idea.

I know my thinking is totally screwed up.  But there it is.  I like the unhealthy stuff!

So, this summer, I’m going to eat my weight in seafood.  Probably a good portion of it will be fried.  And I’m going to pray that some of that good old healthy looking tan can penetrate sunblock, that is every bit as protective as a shirt, and leave me looking  a little less sickly. 

Because, pasty just doesn’t look healthy. 

Now, if those Rubenesque women would just become fashionable again……

If you get a second, click on my poll.  I’m wondering if I’m the only one with twisted thinking.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 3, 2010 10:09 am

    You’re really hilarious. I am still imagining in my head your “pee-can.” If I think about it, I’m pretty sure I say “pee-cahn.”

  2. June 3, 2010 10:30 am

    i’m sure there’s a wikipedia entry about that somewhere. 🙂 i voted, but i totally wanted to vote for other choices simply because they were funny. i’m very anti-sunblock, to be quite honest. but i’m still super pasty. so somehow i’m losing out on both.

  3. June 3, 2010 10:42 am

    I’m a pasty white girl too. I did go throught a tanning bout a few years back where I longed to be pee-can tan, but then, the thought of looking like leather when I was older changed my mind, that plus cancer. lol.

  4. June 3, 2010 1:46 pm

    Oh…we lived in Texas for years…I loved being Pee-can tan. But my skin is paying for it now. I do wear 70 on my face but only 15 on my bod!! I actually still do get a little sun through the 70…it’s strange…but it helps with the explosion of freckles that have slowly melded into one big freckle on my face..therefore, i use it!!

    And…I’m sure the oil in your skin from the fried foods will emerge through the sunscreen to help with your tan! ha ha

    You crack me up..you really do..and I voted the last one only because I think you are crazy..not because I’m a “clean” liver!!

  5. June 3, 2010 2:23 pm

    I’m super pasty. Can’t tan to save my life. I go from white to burned to white again in about three days. So love it up!

  6. June 3, 2010 2:42 pm

    Lula, you kill me. I loved the part about what are they doing? Building bombs? Hydroponic marijuana production? I have to agree that pasty fat is less attractive than tan fat (although I am having a hard time believing you are actually fat). I love being tan, but I also worry about the wrinkling and skin cancer part. I am somewhere in the middle I guess. I sunscreen my face everyday, but rarely do my arms or legs.

  7. June 3, 2010 4:42 pm

    I love fried fish, too! It’s the only way I’ll eat seafood 😉

    I don’t tan at all – I burn and then go straight back to pale… You’d think living in South America I could work up a slight tan! Haha, oh well! 🙂

  8. June 4, 2010 9:36 am

    Seriously – this cracks me UP!!! I have a love for all things unhealthy too – it’s bad. Oh the sun – Mr. Sun – I am in a terrible debate like you – I look as if I have been hit with a sack of flour, I really need the sun, but cancer scares the ba-ge-bees out of me!!! Yes, it is true, brown fat looks mucho better than white fat. Whew, not that I have that off of my chest, I need to go to the tanning bed!

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