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I Win! I Win! Huh-Uh, You cheated!!!!!!!

June 4, 2010

Must everything be a competition?

I have no girls. 

I was an only child. 

I had no idea that people lived like this.  The volume levels are one thing, but the competitiveness is something else altogether.

I have no idea if this is limited to boys, or if this phenomenon crosses gender lines.  But, with my boys, it’s competitive.

Summer’s here.  And it’s just me and my three boys.  Together.  All day.  Everyday. 

My husband is spending most of his time at home winning bread for our family so that we can enjoy all this togetherness. 

So, again, it’s me and these boys. 

And everything is a competition. 

They race when they are swimming.  They switch up the strokes, coming or going.  They race with floats, boogie boards, noodles. 

 They see who can hold their breath the longest. 

They compete to see who can float without touching bottom the longest. 

There is a diving stick competition. 

They compete to see who can catch the most fish with a bucket. 

When we try and take a walk, they turn it into a foot race. 

They compete at Cornhole(though they play heck beating their mom). 

Fierce air hockey competitions take place(once again hard to beat their mama, she spent too much of her childhood in a beach side arcade), followed by heated Jenga games.

If I’d allow it, they see who could eat the fastest. 

And guess who’s the default judge for the fraternal olympics.

Yep, that would be me.  And trust me, they don’t always agree with the judge’s decisions. 

Often, they would be disqualified and escorted from the premises if they weren’t my children. 

It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. 

Must be some prehistoric “survival of the fittest” thing that hasn’t been bred out of them yet. 

Right now, they are sleeping like exhausted champions.  

Probably dreaming about beating each other at breakfast.  Everything’s a competition, you know. 

 Maybe they’ll sleep long enough for me to polish my stop watch and iron my black and white striped uniform…..A referee mom can dream……

Is this happening at your house?  Is it just a boy thing?  Do tell me we’re not abnormal.  Well, I know we’re sort of abnormal.   But is this normal?

Hoping they’ll compete in this sleeping contest they’ve got going, just a little while longer!

                                                                                                                                                                                       

P.S.  I am going crazy from the lack of pictures here lately.  I’m hoping to fix that next week.  Right now, I’m borrowing my son’s really tiny laptop and I don’t think he would appreciate me downloading a bunch of pictures and editing software to his computer.  So, though I do have photographic documentation of these many contests, I can’t share them.  Maybe soon though.  Because, we all know that NOthing is more gripping than a good Corn Hole showdown.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Monica permalink
    June 4, 2010 7:18 am

    Honey, I taught all boys this year. Everything is a competition! They learn better that way!

    Turn these competitions in your favor. Have a race to see who can clean their room the fastest! Think that would fly?

  2. June 4, 2010 9:11 am

    It DOES cross gender lines and your children sound normal to me. My kids even race to see who can get out the front door to the bus stop first every morning. It’s so bad that they fight over who turns off the house alarm, because that means you are last. And the pushing and shoving to be first drives me INSANE!!! I loved this post!!

  3. June 4, 2010 9:37 am

    sounds like you have your hands full!

  4. June 4, 2010 9:37 am

    kate is always pointing out how she can do things better than maddie, or how she is being good when maddie is tantruming. so i see it in her, but will need to wait a few years, until maddie is older and more capable, to really tell if all kids do it.

  5. June 4, 2010 12:40 pm

    I seriously have NO idea what CORN HOLE is….why does it sound obscene to me??

    My oldest won’t play games…I’m not sure if it’s because he’s so competitive and doesn’t want to lose…or whether he couldn’t care less.

    J-boy and S-girl compete more. I think S-girl is actually the instigator of that.

    • June 6, 2010 12:03 pm

      Corn Hole does sound kind of nasty. That romantic devil I’m married to gave it to me for mother’s day a couple of years ago. It’s a good time. Bean bags(or perhaps corn bags) thrown at targets. Come to the SC and we’ll play!

  6. June 4, 2010 1:02 pm

    My girl Jaina is more competitive than her brother! I’m always saying, “Jaina! Its NOT a race!” because she makes even sitting down at the dinner table ( “I got here first!!”) an olympic event!

    I wish I had disqus on my comments sometimes because I’d love to respond to all the lovely ones you leave on both my blogs. A big THANK YOU! 🙂

  7. June 4, 2010 1:09 pm

    Heck, yeah, my kids are competitive, both boys and girls. Everything they get (down to making sure the cups have the same amount of juice) is compared. It is tiring. I have no advice for you. Just like you will be home with your 3 sons, I will be home alone with my 4 kids (and my husband works looong hours). Good luck this summer!

  8. June 5, 2010 3:18 pm

    so, do they fiercely compete at the sun stare? if not yet, they will. (ever heard of the comic, brian regan? he does an entire bit about the sun stare. hilarious!)
    so yeah, i have only one and she’s a girl. but she competes with her DAD on everything! or her cousins if they’re around. funny deal it is.
    i myself was one of 4 and at the same time one of 2. sounds confusing? kinda is. dad’s been married 3 times. there’s 4 of us from those 3. there’s 2 of us from my 1 mom. so i’m the second oldest in the whole line-up, yet oldest in the heirarchy of my mom’s. funny though, i never competed with my older sister. turns out she would with me but i was oblivious (she’s 4 yrs my elder). however the competition between me & my younger (full-blooded) brother (by 2.5 yrs) was INTENSE to say the least. we competed at everything! then with the youngest, another sister, there was no need for competition (she’s 11 yrs younger than me).
    now, i have always wondered if its a kid thing in general, myself, or if the competition i’ve participated in and am now witnessing has to do with going head-to-head with a boy. in my daughter’s case, my husband. really they are just children in grown-up bodies, right? that’s why its so easy for them to come down the kids’ levels i assume. (not saying that’s bad, it’s a catch-22 in fact.)
    but that’s what i figure so far and i’m still trying to figure it all out.

    p.s.
    to boot, whenever my nephews are with me (no matter whether they are siblings or cousins themselves), they are in constant competition…and sometimes several DIFFERENT competitions at the same time. i don’t know how they keep track of it all. makes my head spin just trying to keep up with their trains of thought. =)
    so. you’re not alone.

  9. June 5, 2010 3:25 pm

    I’m a girl, and have two brothers and a sister. And we were ALL like this. All the time. In fact, we’re adults and we’re STILL like this.

  10. June 5, 2010 10:23 pm

    I don’t really know about girls, since I don’t have any girls, either. But my boys compete for everything, too. Who can buckle their seat belt faster? Who gets to sit next to mom? Who can jump off furniture the farthest? It is sooo ridiculous. And don’t ever play Uno with my husband and his three brothers. You haven’t seen competitive until you’ve seen that.

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