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The Kid Who Taught Me to be a Mom

June 6, 2010

My first Sunday Snapshot…..

Ni Hao Y'all

This time eleven years ago, the days couldn’t move fast enough.  After miscarrying my first baby, it was a year before I was pregnant again.  The pregnancy was considered “high risk” and my days were pretty scary.  I never relaxed.  Not for nine long months.  Every twinge I felt brought with it scary thoughts. 

I thought about the baby that I’d lost. I prayed that it didn’t hurt to be miscarried. 

And I prayed for the baby that was coming. 

I prayed that I was worthy to be his mom.

And then he was here and huge and healthy.

The amount of love I felt for him scared me to death.  

I’d considered myself a loving person, but I never realized I had the capacity to love that intensely. 

I had it bad for him.   

He had me wrapped around his finger from the second line on the pregnancy test.  And I didn’t mind a bit.

Every time he grunted, I picked him up.  I nursed him around the clock.  Constantly.  He slept in our bed and I found the only way he’d sleep was if I were playing pacifier.  When he’d finally drift off, my arm would be asleep, and I’d have to pee.  But, I was afraid to move, because we’d have to go through the whole getting back to sleep shebang again.  This went on for months. 

It was nuts.  I knew this, even then.  But, I didn’t want this sweet child to spend a second unhappy, not if I could help it. 

 And here he is, eleven years later.  My buddy, my sidekick, my helper, my son.

  I’m so proud of this child.  He’s smart and he’s kind and he’s a good soul.  His brothers couldn’t ask for a better big brother.  

I can only find fault with him about one little thing.  (And Adam if you’re reading this, it’s not that you get your organizational skills from me) 

The thing is, he’s growing up too fast.  The first eleven have flown by at lightening speed. 

If I close my eyes, I can still feel that squishy lump he had on his head after his harrowing delivery. 

I can remember how happy he made my dad.  Sadly the only grandchild that he’d ever know. 

He’s eleven and I’m going to blink and he’s going to be 22. 

I’ll take memories of these special summers with me. 

I’ll remember the gummy smile that he once sported. 

The nervousness I feel for him when he takes the pitcher’s mound. 

The dolphin that rolled right behind him, to offer his blessing, on his first day surfing. 

The hours spent reading together. 

The way he always wants to teach his brothers the things that he’s learned. 

So there it is, my Sunday Snapshot!

Have a wonderful day!

Proud mother to an exceptional child,

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32 Comments leave one →
  1. June 6, 2010 7:25 am

    This is beautiful. My son will be leaving for college soon and I just know I’m going to miss him terribly. Kids do grow up way too quickly, don’t they?

  2. June 6, 2010 7:48 am

    I love this one! You should print it for him because when he is all grown up, it will warm his heart over and over again!

  3. June 6, 2010 10:24 am

    He is beautiful and you are fantastic!

  4. June 6, 2010 11:21 am

    BEAUTIFUL!
    You’ve captured the very purpose of Sunday Snapshot perfectly!
    And your son sounds incredibly special… he is most definitely a handsome guy, too 🙂
    Thanks for joining in Sunday Snapshot this week!

  5. June 6, 2010 12:31 pm

    What a great post! I love it! Your post sounds so familiar to me. My oldest is 11 years old too, and I miscarried about a year before I was pregnant with him, very high risk, etc.

  6. June 6, 2010 2:10 pm

    i loved the line “He had me wrapped around his finger from the second line on the pregnancy test.”

    LL – i only hope i can write such amazing things about my girls when they are 11.

  7. June 6, 2010 2:16 pm

    Awww, that was precious!! I completely agree, it’s too fast!!!! WAY too fast!! It seems everyone always tells you that when you are pregnant, to enjoy it because it goes by in a blink, and I don’t think there is really any way to truly understand that until it happens to you.

  8. June 6, 2010 3:25 pm

    An wonderful tribute.. Well said and how wonderful to be a mother to such a special wonderful son! Blessings to you both this day

  9. June 6, 2010 3:36 pm

    What a handsome young man your son is! And you’re so right….they grow up too fast. I can remember the day my oldest daughter was born like it was just yesterday….and she’s just finished her first year of college. Savor every single day!

  10. June 6, 2010 4:28 pm

    Your love for him is evident in the way you write about him. I’d say you’re definitely worthy do be his mom!

  11. June 6, 2010 5:05 pm

    what a handsoe kid. Love the shots. Great job!
    I have joined in too
    Plz do visit
    http://beingzaraandzidan.blogspot.com/

  12. June 6, 2010 5:11 pm

    What a beautiful boy 🙂 My firstborn son was also born after a miscarriage and a pregnancy that was never relaxed. What a blessing these boys are to us 🙂

    Your little guy sounds like a wonderful boy and a great big brother.

  13. June 6, 2010 8:28 pm

    Such a beautiful Sunday Snapshot!!! Your son is adorable. He reminds me a lot of my son (who will be 13 in a few weeks). Lovely tribute to him.

  14. June 6, 2010 8:51 pm

    what a guy. they say a man is only a successful as his mother works with him towards it. hang in there. the years have flown, true. but the next 11 yrs he’s gonna need you WAY more than he has so far. even when he says he doesn’t, he does. =)
    congrats so far mama. stay by his side. cherish the man your buddy will soon become.

  15. June 7, 2010 12:25 am

    Ah, LL…what a beautiful tribute to your son. They have a way..don’t they. Those boys..the ones who made us mothers!! Beautiful.

  16. June 7, 2010 8:57 am

    Beautiful post…I especially love your candidness about when he was a baby! I’m all about loving & feeding on demand–it goes by so quick, why not enjoy every moment they NEED you?? We were blessed to revisit the baby stage a couple of years ago, & I love that she still finds her way into our bed at about 4 a.m. most mornings to snuggle in for a couple more hours. It’s priceless!!

  17. June 7, 2010 9:29 am

    That was beautiful! My oldest turns 11 next week and I’ve had many of the same feelings lately. They grow up so stinkin’ fast!

  18. June 7, 2010 9:57 am

    I love this post. It’s just beautiful. And so is your son! I’m so glad that your father had a chance to meet him…he’s still watching him grow and he’s proud too 😉

    I LOVE that his only fault is that he’s growing up too fast…makes me really appreciate the kids and how lucky I am to stay at home with them. I saw a quote that this reminded me of: “The days are long but the years are short”

  19. June 7, 2010 11:01 am

    Your son is beautiful on the inside and out. I love the way you describe him and your goals for him. Hold him close because you are spot on about how fast time flys. They’re gone before you know it. These are precious times.

  20. June 7, 2010 11:32 am

    Oh, Lula Lola I am all teary-eyed. I can relate to every word you wrote. My oldest just turned 17, finished 11th grade, and will be off to college next year. I will treasure and cherish this summer and this next year, just as I have all of the years. It’s so funny and miraculous how life works. When he was younger I dreaded the separation, I adored the time together, I felt so blessed. But as the years move on something wonderful happens. I’ll definitely be crying like a baby when he leaves for college, but I know that he is ready, he is confident, he will thrive in life’s new path.

    You are such a wonderful mom, I can tell just from reading your heartfelt posts. They do grow up too quickly, and they give us the best years of our lives. Keep enjoying the wonderful days and years ahead and keep making those beautiful memories.

    BTW, your son is a handsome little boy!

    • June 14, 2010 9:29 pm

      I hope that I’ll have given my little guys enough tools that I feel confident in their ability to thrive outside the nest! It’s the changes that are so tough!

  21. June 7, 2010 2:26 pm

    Hi! I’ve been gone for a week from blog world and I’ve missed all you guys so much.

    What a beautiful post and what a beautiful boy.

    You have such an extraordinary gift as a writer and a photographer.

    I always said that to my girls on their 4th birthday, “I want you to stay 4, forever.”

    None of them listened. These kids.

  22. June 7, 2010 4:48 pm

    He’s just adorable! This is indeed a perfect Sunday Snapshot.

  23. June 8, 2010 10:34 am

    These pictures are so great! I feel the exact same way about my first born. I was told as a teen I might not be able to have kids, then it took us a year to get pregnant and then I had a few complications and we almost lost him a few times. When he was finally born it was the best feeling EVER! He is now almost 6 and going to be starting kindergarten. It’s insane how fast the time goes. 😦 I just try to enjoy every minute!

    Also, thanks for visiting my blog and for your sweet comments!

    ~Sassy

  24. June 8, 2010 11:59 am

    The way you paint the picture of your beautiful boy is so special. What a great looking kid! You always bring tears to my eyes because I feel the same about my boys! Thanks for being such a great mom and inspiration!

  25. June 8, 2010 5:17 pm

    Don’t say it happens in just a blink! The past year has already flown by too fast; don’t tell me the next ten will, too!

    Happy birthday to both of you!

  26. June 10, 2010 8:53 am

    This is a beautiful post!! And the photos are gorgeous, I love that first one especially. His eyes and his hair are kind of amazing!!
    Is the background just a blur of whatever was actually behind him or did you do something in post-processing?? It’s VERY cool!!

    • June 14, 2010 9:27 pm

      Thank you!
      He was standing on the beach and the blur was just behind him. I did play with the tones a little. But, the was pretty much it!

  27. June 11, 2010 12:44 pm

    So, so sweet. What a wonderful post. Your son is so handsome.

  28. June 13, 2010 6:32 pm

    Is it okay for a boy to be gorgeous? He is seriously beautiful! Can he marry my oldest? He’s only a few years older…

    • June 14, 2010 9:26 pm

      Sounds great! I think prearranged marriages are probably a good idea! lol

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