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A Letter to Mother Nature

August 26, 2010

Dear Mother Nature,

We need to talk.  Normally, I find you lovely.  I’m not here to criticize.  I’m really not. 

And  I want to thank you for the butterflies and the hummingbirds that you send to my lantanna.   They really brighten our days. 

And we’ve enjoyed your cool fish, such as the blowfish that the boys caught when we were fishing the other week.  We enjoy them very briefly and then return them to the ocean promptly and without harm. 

And the deer that wander through our yard are spectacular.  I really love catching a glimpse of them.  They are so graceful and beautiful!  We’d never shoot at them!   Sorry that our dog chases them away.   Of course, I don’t agree with a lot of his decisions.  Such as the dead turkey that he left on our front porch last week.   But, we love him and try to be tolerant of his K-9 ways.  We are just not really crazy about getting kisses from him. 

He’s domesticated for the most part and we’ll do our best to get him under control. 

But, the real reason I’m writing this is to ask for your help.  With the wild things.   I know that’s your department.  And if you could give me a hand there, I’d really appreciate it.

Up until now, I’ve dealt with the animals that came my way without getting too bent out of shape.  But yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak.  Anyway, let me start from the beginning.

When we were moving and the fox kept showing up in the garage, that was sort of….troubling.   Especially, when he didn’t run away from me.  But, we moved and I’ve gotten over it. 

And I’m not going to lie, the coyote I’ve spotted hanging out in the yard where my kids play causes me to feel a little stressed.  But, hey, we did move to the country.  And I guess he was here first. 

And then there’s the shark.  Granted we were in the ocean, his home, so I let that one slide. 

But, yesterday’s events did me in.  Really, they did.  I’m fine with wildlife.  I really am.  As long as it’s in the wild. 

But, in my kitchen. 

Honestly?  

Was the mouse not bad enough?   That paralyzed me for days!  But, this time,I just have to speak up. 

A SNAKE!!!???!!!!

 (This is it on the back porch as he was being swept out, not big, but not welcome, no matter what his size!)

IN MY KITCHEN!!??!!!!???

You have got to be kidding!

I am appalled and horrified!

Thank goodness my husband and my eleven year old were here to sweep it outside.  Though, I’ve got bones to pick with that pair.  My dear husband advised my oldest not to mention that he thought he saw a snake in the kitchen, since my husband couldn’t find it.  They didn’t want me to “freak out.”  So, they were just going to let me go about my business in the kitchen, while a snake was there, and not tell me. 

What the heck is wrong with them?  Where’s the love?   

You should maybe plague them with locusts some time.  You know, to teach them a lesson. 

But, back on task.  Mother Nature, are you upset with us about the hermit crab?  Total accident.  I promise.  Next time, we’ll be much more careful. 

I apologize for that and I beg you, keep the wild stuff outside and it can live.  But, if it comes in, I make no promises.  

Deal?  I certainly hope.

Fondly yet fearfully,

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. Katie permalink
    August 26, 2010 7:48 pm

    You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding.

    If I knew there was even a HINT of snake stink in my kitchen, I’d put the house up for sale and spend the rest of my days in a hotel!

    You should’ve seen me curl my toes up when I saw that picture…..

    • August 30, 2010 2:07 pm

      My toes were too curled to take the picture! If it ever happens again, I’m out! 🙂

  2. August 26, 2010 8:09 pm

    Oh man, LL….I would have NOT liked that one bit. Yeah, I would say without a doubt, you have a few bones to pick with old Mother Nature….

    • August 30, 2010 2:08 pm

      I think I’m going to hold a grudge if we keep having these episodes!

  3. August 26, 2010 9:46 pm

    The blurry pic is greatness. I can just imagine the situation and the freak outs and you thinking….WAIT!!!! I have GOT to get a picture first! This is simply disgusting and hilarious!

    • August 27, 2010 5:31 am

      Sadly, I was too scared to take the picture, I made Adam. I’m such a loser! lol

  4. August 26, 2010 10:30 pm

    At least you got a pic! That’s kinda cool.

    Man, if we ever had a snake in the house, our house would be listed for sale lickety-split! My husband has an irrational fear of snakes. You can bet I’d be the one sweeping it out of the house, while he stood on a chair screaming!

    • August 30, 2010 2:09 pm

      Wayne’s actually not sleeping too well at night! He keeps looking for them!

  5. August 26, 2010 10:39 pm

    Um…WHAT???? In your kitchen?! Are you kidding me?! HOLY CRAP! I don’t know if I would’ve been able to even get the broom to sweep him out. He may have moved in by the time I got up the courage to try to get him out. Because every snake I see must automatically be a rattlesnake. Or copperhead. Or cobra. Yes, I know we don’t get those last 2 in So Cal, but I didn’t say I was completely sane when dealing with snakes! The last 2 we came across I ran inside to make hubby get them off of our outside property. Ugh!

    On another note…I love lantana. It’s like bright little bouquets of happiness!

    • August 30, 2010 2:10 pm

      Lantana-good. Snakes in my kitchen-awful! If we see another one, I’m done! Our, over.

  6. August 27, 2010 7:51 am

    OMG, LL! I was scared enough with the coyote! But a SNAKE in the HOUSE?!?! Did you sleep last night?

    • August 30, 2010 2:10 pm

      The mouse actually freaked me out more than the snake. I’m a nut!

  7. Roxann permalink
    August 27, 2010 8:03 am

    I’VE BEEN TOLD THAT IF YOU PUT MOTH BALLS AROUND YOUR HOUSE SNAKES WILL STAY AWAY! DON’T KNOW IF IT REALLY WORKS I’VE NEVER TRIED IT.

    • August 30, 2010 2:12 pm

      I’m glad you told me that! I’ve got to go to the store today. I’m going to pick some up!

  8. August 27, 2010 10:28 am

    OMG. I would have DIED if I found a snake in my kitchen. Funny thing too about the wolf. My dad has a house in the country in Arkansas and he told me the same thing. Bold confident wolves just hanging out in his backyard. Not at all trying to run away or anything when they saw him. And worse than that, they began to bark at him, as if he was stressing them out with his presence. I guess they were there before him. But wow.

  9. August 27, 2010 7:07 pm

    Ok, here I’ve been missing you and finally decide to check in, and you blogs are a mess! I’ll be glad when it’s fixed! I know – you will be too. You have not been showing up in my reader, so I’ll remember to manually check in, or do you have that fun e-mail subscription thing? I’ll poke around and find out.

    Sorry about that snake. I hate animals indoors. Shudder times ten.

  10. August 28, 2010 1:17 am

    Oh…now that’s just lovely!!

    I think you should have photoshopped the picture, though…..made him look huge!!

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